What a day

Took the baby to the Dr. And confirmed my suspicion of an ear infection. She also thought he has a sinus infection. Grabbed Easter stuff for the kids on the way home. The kids had piano. Aynslee decided to take off on her bike around the block while I was in the bathroom. I searched for her and before I found her, a neighbor that didn't know who she belonged to, called the cops. Well, the cop on duty was our neighbor Colby. He wasn't the nicest about it. I was beyond embarrassed and frustrated because it made me feel like a horrible mother, but I can only do my best. To be honest, most of the time, my best doesn't feel or seem good enough. Its frustrating, but I don't know what to do except keep trying. I am hoping for a better night sleep, we shall see.

Kids

I need to go to bed, but I need to say. I am so grateful for the good life I have. For a good husband, for sunshine that makes me happy and my kids, who I love so much. They really are such great kids. I am especially grateful for Wylie. He is such a good boy. Goodnight. God has been so good to me.

Very Tired

Well, we did it! Spencer & I ran 10 miles today without stopping. It was actually not too bad. We even made our goal time. We are both very sore and I am walking like an old lady, but we did it!
The kids & I then cleaned the vehicles and the garage, while Spencer mowed the lawn. Ya, it's weird, he has never done that in March before, but this year has been the driest and warmest winter I've seen, so he is starting on yard work early.
Kaylese & I went to the Women's conference this evening for General Conference. It was such a wonderful meeting. It was mostly about defending our homes and families. Also, about lifting others burdens. It was the first time Kaylese was able to come. That made it neat. We watched a movie called Unbroken. It's a true story, and it is amazing. It really made me grateful flr all I have and take for granted. I hope O can be a strong defender of my family and home. I desire so much to help my children grow spiritually strong, so that they can have true happiness from living righteously. I love them with all my heart. I am very tired and sore. Just finished giving Baylor a treatment, now.onto Aynslee and then bed. I hope we all feel well enough tomorrow to go to church. I sure love going.

Great Day

So Spencer & I went to the 7:30 session at the temple this morning. What a great way to start my day. I have never been that early in the morning before. Even though I was tired, I really did understand more and felt The Spirit strong. After we came home, we loaded up Winston's Ranger, our 4 wheeler, and Wylie & Dylan's motorbikes. We went out to the dunes west of Nephi. It was a beautiful day. There weren't too many people and we were able to let the kids drive the 4 wheeler for a while and get more comfortable with doing so. I am so grateful our kids had fun and so did Spencer. It was nice for him to have a couple days off.

Thinking

So the kids have had Spring break this week. We went up to see Mom & Dad Slade, stayed over and went to the Aquarium in Riverton. It was awesome! The kids loved it. It was nice to spend time with my Mom & Dad. We have just hung out since. We are planning on going to the dunes tomorrow. There was a relief society birthday dinner tonight. It was a lot of fun.
So I have been thinking a lot about last year at this time, being in the hospital with Baylor, and how I feel about being done. It's just weird because right before having him I was overwhelmed at the thought of another child, and I still get overwhelmed at times, but ever since having him, I have felt so sad about being done. I don't think it means we were meant to have more, I just think it's because I have never felt more important, more loved, so excited, and happier than when I have been pregnant, and right after having a new baby. The feelings are so hard to describe. I loved everything about it. From taking the test with nerves and excitement, to announcing it to everyone, the first ultrasound and Dr.'s appt., the name picking, the getting ready, the planning, the spiritual experience of birth, and the love I feel seeing my baby. All the visitors and excitement about meeting your new one, bringing the baby home, the visits and thougthful gifts and meals, the tiny, sweet baby to cuddle.....sigh. I just have loved everything about it. And because it has been such a huge part of my life for the last 12 years, I guess it's hard to believe and accept that it's really over . I am forever grateful for these experiences and memories. I love my kids more than they will ever understand. Each has been such a unique experience. I think the fact that Wylie is in his last quarter of elementary is making it sad for me too. I can't believe how much he has grown up. I know I am in for new adventures, but that just makes me even more nervous. I want them to stay little. I just really hope I can be the Mom that makes my kids feel loved and special. It's harder to do than I thought.   I love them with all my heart. Hope tomorrow is fun and good.

Daniel Baylor

Wow, well it's a big day tomorrow. Our baby is one year old. I will never forget the first time I saw him. Spencer handed him to me, and it was love at first sight. I felt like I knew him and I was hooked. Then, after 8 long days in the hospital and the NICU, we got to bring our tiny 5lb baby home. The next month was rough but precious. He only weighed in at 7lbs by two months old. He has been from the start, the sweetest, happiest baby we have had. He has the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen, and his smile is gorgeous. Besides being the cutest baby ever born, he really is so sweet and has been such a gift of love and joy to our family. It's funny how a year ago right now I was wondering how I could handle another child, and now here I am, wondering how I ever lived without him. I am so grateful to My Heavenly Father for Baylor, and all my children. There is nothing better than children. I still struggle so badly with patience, but they really are my joy in life. I just hope and pray that I can be a better mother. I feel awful sometimes because of how short & impatient I can be with them. I hope tomorrow is a great day.

Mom

Some days are so great as a Mother. You feel like you did the right thing, said the right thing, or actually taught your child something. Then there are days like today. Days where you regret what you said, you regret how you acted, and you regret what you did, when it comes to a child. Tyrik has been by far my most challenging child in general. Kaylese can make my blood boil quicker & worse, but Tyrik hands down is my most challenging at the moment. Even his personality is hard to figure out and deal with sometimes. But even then, there's no excuse to lose my cool. I hope and pray that I can learn patience and know how to be a better mother to him.... I hope he can forgive me and that we can have a better relationship. I love my kids more than they will ever know. I just want to be the Mom that makes sure that my kids know it. I thought I would be a pretty close to perfect Mom by now. It turns out, I was wrong. I have so far to go. Well, goodnight. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Family Time

Well, an awesome thing happened this weekend. Conley, Kayla, Madi, Colby, Erica, and children, and Mom & Dad all came to visit this weekend. It was so great! I got to meet Colby's baby Scarlett. She is adorable. We ate, visited, and watched the kids enjoy eachother. It was so nice. Korvyn even got to come play yesterday. Tyrik had a good time with him. I am so grateful for my family. I love and miss them all the time. I am also grateful for a home that can fit them all and a yard and sandbox that kids can enjoy. Yesterday was such a great one. One I will not forget.
So Wylie had a few accelerated games this week and he played well. Spencer went to a meeting with some investors who are interested in Norbest and is hopeful for financing on a farm. I went to a brunch at Amy Oliver's house on Friday. It was so nice. Baylor started scooting on his bum last week across the floor. He already has figured out how to get to where he wants now. Yep, it's starting. So sad. I did get a lot of deep cleaning done because of the family coming to visit, so that was great. I am feeling a little down right now, but I think I am just tired, and sad my family is gone. I hope my kids and I survive this coming week because Spencer is on evenings and has to go in early on a couple of those days. I am grateful for what a beautiful day it was outside. We even went for a walk. I need to enjoy it more. Goodnight.