Saturday

So, yesterday didn't turn out how I expected it to. This was a good unexpected though. I ended having a couple of quiet hours in the morning to clean because Alyson invited Aynslee & Tyrik over to play. They loved it and so did I. Then Chavonne had to go up to Salt Lake to get her vacuum and asked if I wanted to go. At first I thought thete was no way, but then I had an idea. I went with her and surprised Spencer on the way home with a date. She took Aynslee and Tyrik home so Wylie could watch them and Michele Ashworth was sweet enough to take Baylor. So I got to visit with Chavonne, and I got to go on a date with Spencer. Double great! It was a nice date too. Today started out with Ryland's Basketball game. He did well and it was great to watch him play. Wylie happily went to the farm. Then, we spent the rest of the day doing laundry, cleaning up the house, taking down the Christmas lights finally. And cleaning the church again. I am very grateful Spencer was willing to spend the day here helping so much. He got me totally caught up on laundry...which is a rare occasion. A pretty good day, but I feel sad that it's over because I feel.like I spent no quality time with my kids. Or atleast talking or playing or reading to them. This is usually my biggest frustration-there are the things I want to do with my kids and feel like I should be doing everyday, and then there are the things that I feel have to get done and get put in front of quality time. I also feel like I have to ride them most of the day just to get things done that are necessary but won't get done unless I do. I hate it so bad! I wish we could just have time.to spend.together without feeling like we have to do anything or without me having to nag or.ride them. I am not that nice, loving, fun Mom most days that I so badly want to be. I feel like I am the nag until it gets done and Im busy with this so I can't do that with you Mom. Sigh...I just need to figure out how to make it work. I want to be a great Mom & accomplish things everyday. These both bring me joy. I know the kids are more important but life happens and there are things like dishes and laundry and cleaning that never stop. I am determined nonetheless to find that happy medium.